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[Dec. 29th, 2008|05:42 pm] |
I am now twenty eight! And possibly still drunk from the weekend.
I hope everyone worshiped Santa appropriately, with trees, booze and an argument over who gets the last mince pie! |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|06:04 pm] |
Happy Hanukkah you crazy kids!
If you don't know what I'm talking about then I suggest you follow these links! |
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[Dec. 4th, 2008|05:36 pm] |
Oh December. Cold weather, Christmas Doctor Who episode, movies on the TV that I've already seen at least ten times, lots of shopping, lots of family time and also my birthday.
I'm currently trying to figure out what to buy all eleven nieces and nephews. My siblings should really look into birth control. What do I get a sixteen year old girl anyway? And oh look, I've become one of those people who just complain on their blogs. Whatever will I do to redeem myself? I think shutting up is probably the kindest thing I can do for you all, don't say I never give you anything! |
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[Nov. 10th, 2008|11:34 pm] |
Children in Need this Friday. An annual occasion, for those of you that don't know, that is designed to give money to children that need, and to ease the conscience of everyone at the BBC that earns an incredibly stupid wage. Including me. Which is why I'm doing something ridiculous on live TV. For my conscience! I mean... for the children!
Oh, the joys of working for a corporation. |
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[Oct. 28th, 2008|01:04 am] |
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It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets into trouble at the BBC for lacking a brain to mouth filter. At least I've never claimed to have fucked anyone's grandchild on radio. Although I did once go a little bit weird after doing a late night radio show and an early morning show and not sleeping in between. I started talking about purple bunnies and it wasn't my best broadcasting moment. |
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[Oct. 15th, 2008|10:13 pm] |
I do love it when popstars do my job for me. I mean... there are so many Sixth Sense jokes I could make right now.
Also, the Sugarbabes are splitting up so one of them can go to university. I don't see why they're not replacing her, I have a fifteen year old niece who could do the job and you won't even need to pay her minimum wage!
Jocelyn, well done on getting a part as a transvestite. I look forward to seeing you in a dress, and then mocking you about it. ETA: Mocking because he's my friend. Not because I have problems with men wearing women's clothing. Please. Feel free to wear skirts and dresses if you want to. I'll refrain, but that's because I don't have the figure for it. |
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[Oct. 6th, 2008|11:19 pm] |
I did a bit of stand up last night at The Secret Policeman's Ball. I told the story about my older brother's six week attempt at being a superhero. He was sixteen and decided to call himself the Areola Avenger. He had this ridiculous costume that involved a cape and a shirt with holes cut out for the nipples. It all makes sense because he shoots lasers from his nipples, but we all agreed that cutting holes in his t-shirts to show them off was ridiculous. However, we (being my other brother and two sisters) found it so hilarious that we didn't bother to point out how stupid he was being. We just get out the photos and newspaper articles whenever he's being a prat.
It was a good night, although I could have done without spending an evening with Razorlight. What a bunch of pretentious wankers. |
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[Sep. 29th, 2008|03:27 am] |
Apparently when you ask pop princess's if they have more tits than talent, they get offended. Who knew? I certainly would have expected them to be far more annoyed at the comments I made about there being an endless supply of footballers that were willing to sleep with them for fifteen minutes of extra fame.
See, people, you can call pop stars whores, but don't you dare imply that they're talentless hacks with large bosoms! |
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